The Idolatry of God

Why I Abandoned the Silence

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December 30th, 2024, 10:00 p.m.

Time for centering prayer.

Divine silence.

Into position on my couch. Loki lying on my left. Lugh on my right. I can feel their butts against my hips.

I start my timer. The gong on my phone rings.

“Praise to you, O’ Christ, for this, your gift of life.”

So it begins.

Time set aside specifically to pay attention to God.

For that to which we ultimately give our attention, we ultimately give our devotion.

(I say that so often I sometimes wonder if those around me think I'm a broken record.)

The way I engage centering prayer as a spiritual exercise is ultimately about attention.

It's about practicing letting go of myself, including my thoughts, my fears, and even my hopes. It's about decentering my attention off of me and opening myself up to the Divine Depths of reality.

Sometimes it's an experience of inner peace. Other times, it's screaming into the Void.

But at all times, it should ultimately be about letting go of everything in the world and just paying attention to God in the discipline of silence.

Or should it?

Because that's when this happened…

I heard a small whine to my left. A subtle noise asking for my attention.

I felt Loki's butt shift. I know this feeling.

Leaving the Divine Darkness behind, I opened my eyes and looked at him. Yes, as expected, he had rolled belly up.

He wants belly pets.

So, I reached my left hand out and placed it on his chest between his front legs and scratched as I listened to his breathing.

A sigh.

Contentment. Fulfillment. Peace.

Discipline

My focus word for 2025 is “discipline”. I've decided I need more structure in my life. And this includes embracing the “discipline” in “spiritual discipline” a bit more.

And what will I keep telling myself?

“Pay attention to God. For that to which I ultimately give my attention, I ultimately give my devotion.”

And, I am thankful for Loki and his uncanny ability to teach me about God. Right now, I'm especially thankful for his reminder that sometimes God can become an idol.

Indeed, when my boy expresses a need for love and invites me in with a gesture born of love, should I let it go as just another distraction so that I may stay immersed in the discipline of silence?

Or, do I accept the invitation?

Do I hearken to the call that comes to me from and for Love?

Because, you see, it's not about the discipline. It's about participating in the Divine Flow of Love.

And if sitting in the silent darkness distracts me from being able to hear the Call of Love, then in the pursuit of God I have…

• Abandoned the God in the darkness for the darkness itself

• Dismissed the Divine call in favor of the noisy silence

• Turned God into an idol.

I believe we all share a common calling, a call to embrace Divine Love—A love that is creative, interpenetrating, and life-enriching.

The ultimate purpose of any spiritual discipline is to attune us to that call.

So,...

Pay attention.

For that to which you ultimately give your attention, you ultimately give your devotion.

Peace, Bo
www.evolvingchristianfaith.net

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