The Secret to How I Quit Smoking

A Lesson about God from My Cat

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“Cough, cough.”

The sound I made while sitting in my one-bedroom apartment watching TV at night many years ago.

“Cough, cough, cough.”

Overall, I enjoyed smoking. But one thing I definitely did not like was all that coughing.

I wasn't a heavy smoker. Only about 12 to 14 cigarettes a day. But, if I didn’t get a cigarette within a certain amount of time, my body reminded me that I was definitely a smoker.

I coughed again. My cat looked at me from the blue yoga mat in the middle of the floor she loved so much. It had holes all over it from her kneading it with her claws.

As I stared into her eyes staring into mine, it hit me.

A very unpleasant thought…

I was coughing because the smoking was damaging my lungs. Living in an enclosed one-bedroom apartment, I suddenly had to ask myself the question: “What is it doing to my beloved cat’s wee little lungs?”

Anabelle was the joy of my life. She was my baby. My Puddy Poo.

What am I doing to her with all the second-hand smoke?

That moment was the beginning of the end of my smoking.

I wanted to keep her around as long as I could. I knew I needed to stop smoking for her…

But how?

I didn't like the options

“The only way you'll ever really quit is cold turkey.”

Advice I heard over and over again.

But here's the problem…

I knew I couldn’t do that. Even though I wasn't a heavy smoker, when I wanted a cigarette, I wanted a cigarette. If I didn't get the cigarette within a certain amount of time, it became all I could think about. I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything. I certainly wouldn’t be able to function at work.

Bottom line: If I tried to go cold turkey, I would fail.

So, not a good option for me.

But what about the gum?

I bought some. Tried it. Hated it.

It was so unbelievably strong it made me feel ill. That, too, would not work.

The insight

Then, one evening while talking with a co-worker about my desire to quit smoking, he mentioned something his doctor had told him. The doctor said, “If you can get below four cigarettes a day, you don't have enough nicotine in your system anymore to be physically addicted. At that point, it's all psychological.”

I have no idea how true this is, but I do know that it inspired me. I now had an achievable goal. I just had to figure out how to reach it, and then stay there for a while while I got used to a new normal.

The plan

I started cutting back not by adjusting how many times a day I had a cigarette, but how much I had at a time. I started smoking half-cigarettes instead of full ones. And, I had a rule for cutting back: If I wanted to smoke another half, I could. That way, I didn’t feel too much pressure.

This approach started working for me.

Rather than dramatic cutbacks, I reduced my intake incrementally. Since I could smoke more if I wanted to, I didn’t feel trapped by the schedule. Plus, having the option for more on the table added a little bit of challenge to the experience. (“Can I make it to the next one? I think I can!”)

Now, it was a game.

On top of that, my goal was no longer to quit smoking. My goal was simply to reduce it down to four cigarettes a day. Moving the goalpost had a huge effect. Success became far more achievable.

Progress

Relatively quickly, I was able to get myself down to regularly only smoking half a cigarette.

It worked!

So, I decided to cut back a little more. I went from half of a cigarette to 1/3 of a cigarette. And, over time, I had dropped relatively comfortably to less than four cigarettes per day.

Then I started to stretch out the time between smoke breaks. Not by a lot, mind you. Just about 15 minutes at a time. This reduced the number of times I was smoking each day.

Eventually, I made it to my next goal, which was a total of two cigarettes a day.

Where I got stuck

That's where I ran into a roadblock. For some reason, I wasn't able to get any lower. I knew if I pushed myself too hard I would start to go backward, and I definitely did not want to do that. Annabelle was counting on me.

So, I tried something different. I noticed that e-cigarettes had arrived. I decided to buy one at a local drugstore and give it a shot.

Now, I could just get a quick nip (a very small nip) and move on. Rather than smoking a couple total cigarettes a day, I was just taking a few mini-puffs. It was just enough to scratch the itch, and nothing more.

I slowly reduced the number of nips during the day, and eventually got down to only two.

Here we go!

I felt like I was finally ready. The amount of nicotine in my system was minimal, and I decided I was going to give it a shot.

It was time to try one full day without smoking.

And then, after that, I would go back to a total of two nips per day.

And, guess what…

I made it through that day.

When I woke up the next day, I was unbelievably proud of myself. I wondered if I could do it again.

I made it through that day as well!

And then, a third. On that day, I decided I didn't need to go back to the e-cig anymore. I had stopped smoking.

Now, I just had to maintain it.

I knew one of my keys to the process was not feeling trapped. So, in order to avoid that feeling, I put a pack of cigarettes in my glove box, just in case I decided that I “needed” one. Ironically, having the cigarettes on hand would help me avoid rekindling the habit.

I also adjusted social patterns to stay out of triggering situations. No bars for me for a long while.

And I made sure to lay and cuddle with Annabelle, my most beloved cat. I spent extra time lying with her, the sound of her purr reminding me why I really needed to stick with it.

So what was the secret to me quitting smoking?

Well, technically, I guess there were two secrets.

First, I wasn't primarily doing this for myself. I was doing this because I loved Annabelle so much and did not want to lessen my time with her because of secondhand smoke. Sure, it would be in my best interest personally. But my primary motivator was my love for her.

Second, there was the way I went about it. It took into account who I was and what I could do. I didn't ask myself to do anything that I knew I could not do. Instead, I did what I could do and I built on that like Legos.

It wasn't easy. In fact, it was quite difficult. And the approach I took was meant to be a gentle one. It was one that expressed love and care for myself while I continued to move forward in my healing process.

So, here’s the secret to me quitting smoking: The approach was grounded in and flowed from love—my love for Annabelle and my love for myself.

Whenever I think back to the time, it is a reminder of how love has transformed me. It reminds me of how—because of love and through love—I became more fully who I was meant to be at the time. And, to this day, dropping that habit is one of the best things I have ever done.

If you are struggling with an addiction, I certainly cannot guarantee that this approach would work for you. But I will encourage you to consider the most loving options appropriate for your situation.

As for me, the whole experience was a good reminder of why I believe that Divine Love is the most powerful force in the universe, and why I am called to follow and promote the Way of Love.

Peace, Bo
www.evolvingchristianfaith.net

PS: If you found this article valuable, please hit the "like" button and “restack”. The more likes and restacks I have, the more likely the post is to be found on Substack by others.

PPS: If you haven’t read the entire series up to this point, I recommend starting with the kickoff article, “The Death of Traditional Clergy and the Birth of Something New”

PPPS: If you want to know more about the theological context for the Digital Ecclesiastic, check out my series “A Call for a New Reformation”, which begins with “Dear Christianity, Change or Die”.

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Credits

• Thanks to DALL-E for the cover art