The Pain of Rebirth

What Does It Mean to be "Born Again"?, Part 4

James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came forward to him and said to him, “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.” And he said to them, “What is it you want me to do for you?” And they said to him, “Appoint us to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your glory.” But Jesus said to them, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?”

—Mark 10:35–38

Years ago, a friend from a charismatic tradition said to me, “Be careful what you pray for because you just might get it.”

It's true. Sometimes we want something, and for good reason. And when we get it, we realize it's not quite what we expected.

For example, imagine that you want to start your own business. You want to make enough money to hire staff to do certain parts of the work. Lo and behold, you succeed! You build up a business with 10 employees. Congratulations! 

Now you are responsible for those 10 employees. You are responsible for the economic well-being of their families.

The environment you create will have an effect on their family lives. The salary you offer will have an effect on their family lives. And most especially, when the economy gets difficult and you aren't seeing the bottom line you're used to, the decisions you make we'll have an effect on their family lives. 

Originally, you saw all the money you would make and the glam that goes with it. You hadn't considered the weight of responsibility you were choosing to bear on your shoulders. 

In a similar way, I think a lot of people want to grow spiritually. They read the books, do the exercises, and listen to the spiritual leaders. What they don't expect is the burden that necessarily comes with spiritual growth. 

Adulting, do you really want to do it?

I don't know how many memes I have seen on the internet saying something like, “I don't want to adult today. Please don't make me adult today.” 

What “adulting” really comes down to is accepting responsibility. When you accept responsibility for not just yourself but also others, it completely changes your perspective and how you engage in situations. 

When I was in my twenties, I heard that growing older naturally made people become more conservative. The idea was that youthful idealism would give way to the responsibilities of work and family life, so our concerns become more pragmatic as we age. 

That hasn't quite happened with me. I’ve actually strengthened in my progressive position. Yet, just like others, I have become more pragmatic, so I certainly understand better those more conservative positions. Through experience, I have learned how taking on more and more responsibility has affected me and my idealism. 

Spiritually, I've already noted that the maturation process is tied to an ever-expanding sense of consciousness, which means the capacity to identify with more and more people. The more people you identify with, the more people you are naturally going to feel responsible for. 

This has an effect on the way you perceive issues. The days of simple answers are gone. We become aware of the degree to which the problems of our world are complex and need complex solutions to them. 

The path of spiritual adulting adds new levels of sympathetic pain and frustration, as well as a greater sense of commitment to finding a solution that does the least harm while moving us forward. 

In other words, as we grow spiritually things don't get easier, they get harder…much, much harder.

Indeed, the cross of the spiritual adult is a heavy burden. For better or worse, if you want to grow spiritually, this has to be part of it. 

Seeking Deeper Meaning in Life?

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